Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 5/11/2012
...Because on June 5th I will get on a plane to lead a group of
five college-aged women to Calcutta, India for two months!
(A picture of what life is going to look like very soon!)
Calcutta is the second largest city
in India. It's considered "the intellectual and cultural capital" of the
country. With Calcutta ranking as one of the largest red-light districts
in Asia, prostitution is a grave problem. Many women from within the country as
well as from neighboring nations like Nepal are trafficked for the purposes of
sexual exploitation; others are forced to choose between their personal dignity
and their family's survival.
Children are
objectified, too. Some are forced into hard labor, and some, as depicted
in Slumdog Millionaire are forced to beg - not for their
families but for a pimp.
(A picture of one of the boys we'll be working with this summer!)
We'll be partnering with Asha Mission Children's Home, a ministry
whose heart is to care for at-risk children. We'll love on orphans- many who
have never felt the sincere love of another human before. This ministry aims to
provide an environment and opportunities that these children would otherwise
never know. A still growing ministry, the hope is to establish homes throughout
India, where each child is known, uniquely cared for, and given the chance to
flourish, be transformed and redeemed.
Our hope and our heart is to be the
hands and feet of Jesus to these children and each person we meet in India.
Please join me in praying for me and my team in these months
weeks leading up to our launch.
I need to raise $1500
for the cost of this trip. Please prayerfully consider partnering with me and
this ministry. To make a tax-deductible donation click the "Support Me" tab on
the left side of this page or email me at htobe.nms@gmail.com. Thank you!
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 4/6/2012
As difficult as it is to admit, if I hadn't had the large
majority of my support come in before going on the World Race, I probably would
have postponed my launch date.
And if I hadn't had a few thousand dollars in my support
account before moving to Georgia, I'm not sure I would have made the move.
God knows that about me. He knows where I struggle to trust.
Where my faith wavers.
He knows when and how to push us and stretch us. He loves us
so deeply, so personally, so individually
that He works with our unique make-ups.
And this is the season God has decided to stretch me in my
faith and trust in Him, especially regarding my finances and my future.
Last Thursday night I posted a blog explaining my financial
situation: My support account was out and as it stood, I wasn't going to get my
next paycheck.
The love, encouragement, and support I received over the following
five days blew me away. Over $600
came in in just five days giving me
just how much I needed to get my next paycheck, with about five dollars to
spare.
I'm not used to an 11th hour God. To be
completely honest, I like a God who shows up around the 5th hour. J But I love that He's
stretching me, pushing me to trust Him more deeply, to have a greater
dependence on Him showing up.
THANK YOU from the
bottom of my heart to each one of you who prayed for me, who sent me Facebook
messages, comments, and encouraging videos. For those of you who called me and
spoke truth to me and to those of you who supported me financially. THANK YOU!
Your generosity and intentionality and sacrifice has blessed my heart so
abundantly. Thank you for being a part of my life and of this ministry that I
so believe in.
My next support "deadline"
is coming up in two weeks and I'll need approximately $550 to come in between
now and then. Please consider praying about supporting me these last two months
down here in Georgia. Click "Support Me!" on the left side of this page to make
a tax-deductible donation.
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 4/4/2012
A couple weeks ago I shared about the start of my journey to
learn guitar. About how I tried to learn before, but gave up time and time
again, abhorring being bad at things.
I shared how this time I committed myself to the process,
knowing I had to find joy in the small successes and in the journey, along the
way finding beauty in the slow development of a new skill. And bit by bit, I
have been improving.
What's been even more beautiful than seeing the small, but
steady progress come through commitment, dedication, and delight in the process
are the ways these same principles have drawn me deeper in intimacy with the
Lord.
I struggle with daily, scheduled time with God. Too often, I
allow it to happen when it's most convenient, failing to place ultimate
priority on that quiet time with Him.
Much like with guitar, I want immediate "results" with
God. I want revelation. I want to hear His voice clearly. I want to feel His
presence. And quickly He becomes more like a Genie than a God who I am in a
personal relationship with.
He wants more than me coming to Him solely when I am in need or
with specific expectation. There is something to be said for daily commitment
to time with Him. For setting aside time to thank Him for who He is. For
giving space for the Spirit to move.
So during this Lenten season I have committed myself to daily
time with Jesus. No agenda other than to come to Him with all my heart, ready
to receive whatever He has. No specific devotional or book, no day looking like
the one before. No expectation other than for Him to show up as He wills.
Just as my fingers are now able to move and stretch to play new
notes in a way they couldn't just weeks ago, so is my heart able to stretch and
move to new, more intimate places with Jesus.
Where I struggled to silence my heart and hear the voice of the
Lord, I now hear Him more clearly.
It's been a process. It takes time to silence my heart and to
open my ears to His word, but it gets a little easier, a little less
uncomfortable, with each day.
As I said in regards to guitar, "I'm not where I want to
be yet, but I'm on my way. There has been such beauty in this process of slow,
gradual growth and daily commitment."
Are you giving God the time and the space to stretch and move
you and your heart to new places? What would it look like for you to make that
space in your life?
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 3/29/2012
...been so sure I'm in the place God wants me before.
For those of you who get my newsletter, I shared this sentiment
a couple months ago, soon after I moved down to Georgia.
I often struggle with wondering if the place I'm at is the
place I'm supposed to be. I struggled with this during Teach For America. I
struggled with this throughout my 11 months on the Race. And let me tell you:
it's not a fun struggle.
After a couple years of this type of questioning, I began to
wonder if I was even capable of feeling content anymore.
And then I moved to Gainesville. GAINESVILLE of all places. And
ya know what? For the first time in a long time, I feel content.
Not because life is perfect. Not because I've found my dream
job. Not because Gainesville is where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
But because in a deep part of myself, I know this is where God
wants me in this season. So even when things don't look like I imagined, or
when I'm sitting in front of my computer for 8 hours a day, or when I feel
incompetent at my job, or when it's February and I'm suffocating from the heat
(okay, yes, slightexaggeration), I can be at peace.
And I have been at peace. At least up until this week. Up until
today
Slowly my support account has been getting lower
and
lower
and
lower.
And I'm now at a place where if I don't get some donations/pledges
by Monday, I won't get my next paycheck.
It's all well and good to say I trust for God to provide while
those paychecks are coming in. It's a whole 'nother level of trust to say and
believe God will provide when it's the 11th hour.
Today I felt the weight of it. I felt the burden of support
raising on my shoulders. And it wasn't fun. And I felt defeated. And I wanted
to sink into a hole of self-pity and despair.
But money or a lack thereof doesn't determine my joy. My bank
account doesn't determine my joy. My circumstances don't determine my joy. My
God determines my joy. And He is good, and constant, and true.
And He lives in me.
His perfect love casts out ALL fear-even the fear of how my
rent is going to be paid next month.
These are more than pretty little Christian phrases. They are
truths.
They're the truths I choose to live by.
For my last two months here in Georgia, I need
$3500 of support.
To get my next paycheck, I need $500 to come in
by Monday.
I would be blessed and honored if you would prayerfully
consider supporting me with either a one-time donation or a monthly donation
for my last four months with AIM (two months here in Georgia, two months
leading a trip abroad). To make a donation, click "Support Me!" on
the left side of this screen.
If you don't feel the Lord calling you to give financially, I
would so appreciate your prayers, both for my finances as well as for my
remaining time here at AIM and with Kingdom Dreams.
It's an opportune moment for Satan to come in and try to
discourage me, speak lies, and steal my joy, but our God is greater. I would so
appreciate encouragement from you in any form, whether that's a comment on this
blog, an email, or a phone call.
I can't imagine doing this without all of you. Thank you for
being a part of this journey, a part of this ministry, and a part of my
life.
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 3/14/2012
As I shared in a previous blog post, I bought a guitar just
over a month ago. I've tried to learn guitar a handful of times in the past,
but always find some excuse to discontinue it before making any real progress.
To be completely honest, I
don't like being bad at things.
I like things to come naturally to me. I like to learn
quickly. I like immediate gratification.
Clearly, though, that wasn't working out too well for me and
the guitar.
This time, I knew my mindset had to be different. I knew I
had to rejoice in small successes, delight in the process, and find beauty in
the slow development of a new skill, birthed out of dedication and resolve to
see this dream come to pass.
For the first few weeks I fiddled around, taught myself a
handful of chords, and struggled to see how I was every going to get from where
I was to where I wanted to be (i.e. a ROCKSTAR!).
Then I had my first lesson with one of my coworkers. We met
for 20 minutes, he wrote out the chords for a couple songs, and told me to
practice moving between those chords.
And everyday since then I've sat down with my guitar and
clumsily moved my fingers in ways that, at first, felt completely unnatural. It
didn't sound pretty, my movements weren't fluid, and my fingertips continue to
have the strange sensation of numbness combined with fire.
Yet despite the
struggle, there is no doubt that I am improving.
Where my fingers couldn't move or stretch before, they now
naturally find their place.
Where my fingers couldn't gracefully switch from one chord
to another, they now move with ease.
Where my fingers hurt so badly I couldn't press down hard
enough to make the sound come out, they've begun to form calluses that allow me
to practice longer and harder.
I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm on my way. There has
been such beauty in this process of slow, gradual growth and daily commitment.
And what's even more beautiful is the way God is showing me
the parallels between learning the guitar and what He is doing in my heart.
To be continued...
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 2/29/2012
A couple weeks ago after staff worship, Bill Swan shared a
word about lent with the Adventures in Missions staff. It was a word that challenged
us to look at lent as something more than merely giving up candy or soda (not
that those sacrifices are bad), but as an opportunity to intentionally draw
nearer to the Lord in these forty days leading up to Easter.
So I began to pray about what keeps me from intimacy with
God. I thought of the things in my day-to-day life that rob me of time and life
and purpose.
Immediately my mind went to the amount of time I spend checking
email, Facebook, and Pinterest. I thought of the time I spend online watching
"Modern Family" and "Grey's Anatomy."
I thought about how
many nights I turn on my computer to "just check my email" only to find myself
on the computer for several hours, wasting my life away.
I thought of the mornings that follow those nights that I
stay up too late, hitting the snooze button only to reluctantly drag myself out
of bed instead of eagerly awaking to spend time with Jesus.
Needless to say, God made it pretty clear what I could do in
this season to draw nearer to him.
So I made the decision to keep my computer usage to work hours.
And let me tell you, it's
been amazing. To be honest, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. It feels like
a gift. It feels right.
It feels like freedom.
I've had more time to spend reading, and journaling, and
worshipping. I've gotten more sleep. And I've found that my thoughts are
different-more focused on God and truth than any earthly circumstance or struggle.
So often I pray, "I want more of you God," yet my actions
don't align. I wonder what it would look like to live a life where I actively
choose God over the distractions. I'm
ready and I'm finding out.
In what ways is the
Lord calling you to draw nearer to Him? What is He speaking to you about this
Lenten season? It's not too late-it's never too late-to press into the good that
the Lord has for you. I would love it if you'd share in the comment section
below. J
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 2/18/2012
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of
spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10
A couple Fridays ago our apprenticeship group at
Adventures in Missions took the afternoon to write down the gifts God has given
us. We then got up in front of the group and shared with one another.
I would say at one level or another, most of us felt some
level of discomfort as we began this process. There's something that feels
weird about it, writing down and sharing out the giftings and unique
characteristics God has given us.
It's like the fear of coming across as less than humble
keeps us from sharing- even keeps us from living out-that which God has blessed
us with.
Maybe part of it is knowing we are called to use the gifts God has given us.
I know for me, it's often easier to focus on my weaknesses
and the areas that I'm lacking instead of focusing on and operating out of the
gifts the Lord has given me.
But I recognize
the value in knowing the unique and wonderful way God has made me. I recognize
that any voice that tries to keep me living in my weaknesses, any voice that
keeps me from living out the life God has called me to, is not of God, but of
Satan.
So here I
share with you what I believe the Lord says about me. Here I share
with you the gifts I see the Lord has given me. I hope at the end, you'll do the same and share with me what the Lord says about
you.
God has gifted me with
insight, wisdom, and discernment. He's given me a deep level of empathy for
others as well as a voice to speak truth into people's lives. God has given me
the ability to see through situations and people into the heart of what's
really going on, speaking the very things into peoples lives, whether
encouraging or challenging, that they need to hear.
God has given me the gift of knowing the depths of human
emotion: both joy and laughter, and sorrow and despair.
I see the gifts and greatness people often don't see in
themselves and am drawn to people at the times when they need love the most.
People can turn to me and know that I will sincerely listen, love, and care.
God has gifted me with intelligence, with both a creative and
analytical mind. God has given me a strong work ethic-despite obstacles and
challenges, I will follow tasks through to completion with detail and
excellence.
God has given me a voice to worship him. He has given me a voice
to draw others into an intimate place of worship with him and to break through
spiritual barriers on behalf of other people.
God has made me uniquely and wonderfully and calls me to use the
voice He has given me. This is not of my own doing, but by the hand of God. The
good in me is the Christ that lives in me.
No matter
who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what you say about yourself or
what others say about you, God has made you uniquely and wonderful and in His image.
Do you know the gifts God has placed in you? The unique
characteristics He's given you? I challenge you to take some time to ask God
the unique way He has made you.
Whether you're
a regular reader or someone who has stumbled across my blog for the first time,
whether you are someone who comments frequently or never, I encourage you to
comment below sharing what God says about you. Put it into words, speak it into
existence, share it with the world, and breathe life into the truth of who God
has made you to be.
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 2/5/2012
Enjoying Life
Can I just start this blog by saying how much I am enjoying
life right now? Because I am. I love being a part of this community, spending
time with the people here, and doing life down here in Gainesville.
Last week I wrote a blog about intentionality, sharing that
within a week (i.e. TODAY), I would share with you all some of the things I am
going to be intentional about in this next season.
So, here goes!
Having FUN! (and
trying new things)- I think having fun is a part of life we (or at least I)
often overlook. There are too many people, too many Christians, walking through
their existence without actually ENJOYING the gift of life we've been given.
Here's a picture of our group going hiking with Seth Barnes
(founder of Adventure in Missions) last Friday.
And, in an effort to try new things, I painted with some
friends on Saturday! (Don't worry, I won't be quitting my day job).
And on a similar note...
I'm Learning Guitar! Oy. I've "tried" to
learn guitar a handful of times from high school until now. In the past I've
given up pretty quickly (what can I say? I like being good at things quickly).
So I invested in this little jewel last weekend. I officially know 6 chords
after this first week. This time, I'm committed.
Intercession- I
am making praying for others an intentional, scheduled part of my day. Because
God is listening. And answering prayers. And I want to be a part of that. SO,
shoot me an email if there are things you want prayer for (or, ya know, call),
because I'll be praying!
Discernment- I've
been told I have the gift of discernment and have seen this gift grow over the
past year, but I am taking this season to seek out others who have cultivated
this gifting and to press in and learn from them.
Living a healthy
lifestyle-I am a much more pleasant person to be around when I get 8 hours
of sleep and I have way more energy when I exercise. So I'm making these things
a priority.
So there's my list. What's yours?
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Posted in Adventures in Missions by Heidi Tobe on 1/29/2012
It's easy to go
through life so wrapped up in daily tasks that we miss the things that are
truly important to us. Daily chores and responsibilities get in the way of us
living out the lives that we want to.
I want to live a life of intentionality.
in• ten• tion noun \in-ˈten(t)-shən\
1: a determination to act in a certain wayDefinition of INTENTION
I'm pretty bad
at this. I often have a desire to
act-to live-in a certain way, but when it comes down to the determination, I
often fall short.
Six months ago
as I was nearing the end of the World Race, I made the decision to postpone
grad school for a year. I posted a blog about it which included this: "A few weeks ago I began journaling about what I would
want to do if I decided to return home without a plan-no job, no school,
nothing. I wrote down that I want to spend quality time with my family, my
relatives, and my friends. I want to write. I want to learn guitar. I want to
visit friends from Loyola and from Teach For America. I want to go to IHOP (the
house of prayer, not the house of pancakes...though that would work, too). I
want to find a church to attend in Michigan. I want to make
"ask-the-Lord" ministry a regular part of my life. I want to run a
5k. I want to spend time with my sister up at college. I want to invest in
people's lives and love them well. I want to slow down. I want to learn to
live well and to dream big dreams again."
The five months I spent at home began with a great
deal of intentionality, though as time went by I found the desire was still
there, but the determination was fading. While I'm okay with the fact that
there are things on the above list that did not come to pass, I'm not okay with
is being a person who lets life happen to me, a mere spectator in my existence.
I know God has made me with a purpose too great to let life pass me by. I want
to be surrendered to God, giving Him control over my life, yet the truth is
that he gives us choice on how spend our time, the values we choose to
live by, what we do each day, who and how we serve, and ultimately the people
we decide to be.
I'm going to spend time today and throughout this
next week being intentional about spending time with the Lord and
deciding with him what I am going to commit to for my time here in Georgia. The
giftings I want to grow in. The people I want to invest my life and my time in.
The type of co-worker, roommate, friend, disciple, daughter, and sister I want
to be. The principles and values that I want to be at the center of my
day-to-day living.
If you're finding the life you're living is getting
in the way of the life you desire to live, maybe you should take some time to
do this, too.
By this time next week I am determined to post a
blog sharing some of my decisions with you about the things I am choosing to be
intentional about during my time here in Georgia (And by this time next week
the thank you letters and Newsletter I've been meaning to address and put in
the mail will be in your hands or en route to your homes!). Here's to a season
of intentionality!
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Posted in Kingdom Dreams by Heidi Tobe on 1/15/2012
Hi
friends and family! Sorry it has been a bit since my last update. It has been a
crazy (and awesome!) two weeks since I left Michigan. January 2nd I
began the trek down to Georgia. I arrived there on January 3rd and
began work January 4th-just two days before our big event for the
season: Project Searchlight!
For
those of you who still aren't quite sure what Kingdom Dreams (the department I'm
working with) or Project Searchlight is, here is a quick rundown! Project
Searchlight is the "next step" for world racers who return home from the field
and aren't quite sure what is next. When alumni racers come down to Georgia for
Project Searchlight, they spend 6 days seeking God's direction for their next
steps. Using 5 key areas of development (self-assessment, career options,
fit assessment, community, and adventure) they sort out their skills, traits,
desires and opportunities. It's a time to figure out how to take the next steps
in making the dreams God has placed on their hearts realities.
We
had over 100 racers join us for this Searchlight. I attended the last
Searchlight this past September, and it was amazing to see the improvements
that had been made in just a few short months. After this week, I have never in
my life felt so confident that I am exactly where God wants me right now. The
fruit we saw from this week was truly awesome and praise worthy! During their
six days at Searchlight, there were participants who bought plane tickets to go
back to the nations, who committed to dedicate their next season of life to
places like Cambodia and Thailand, who have decided to join staff at AIM and so
much more! There were amazing times of worship, fellowship, and movement!
Thank
you to all of you who lifted up Project Searchlight in prayer, who have been
praying for and encouraging me during this time of transition, and who have
financially supported me to be down here serving this incredible ministry!
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